A (not so) fresh start...

I have had thoughts racing through my mind at various speeds for some time now.

Thoughts about Christianity. What the Church is. What the Church is meant to be. What my place in all this mess is.

The overarching feeling I get from this sometimes absurd race is a mixed one of discouragement and excitement.

Discouragement because I often see the Church as the decomposing corpse of what used to be a beautiful bride, putting on layers of makeup to hide her shame and disgrace.

Excitement because I do see light at the end of the long and dark tunnel of my cynicism. In spite of my darkest ramblings, the dying body sometimes still twitches with life and love. In spite of my ramblings, God has a brighter future for this smelly bride. Even if she is a heartbreaking sight, there is hope for better days.

Isn't it when we are at our weakest and ugliest that grace becomes effective?

I understand that these statements might be outrageous to some.

My purpose here is not to throw stones. I do not claim to hold the truth or the answers.

I consider myself to be part of the crippled Church I describe, and this blog is an exploration of my observations, my thoughts, my disillusions and my dreams.

I am an incomplete and stubborn creature depending on God's grace.